By Steve Kotowske
I realize this is a bit of a loaded question. Some readers might say their dog is fantastic all of the time and never meets a stranger. Others would continue that their dog loves to greet everybody and every dog they meet. In fact, their dog pulls them towards everyone and every dog just to say hello. Still, others might say they keep their dog away from strangers because they show themselves unfriendly – or they might even just jump up on people because of over excitement. Then there is the dog that is often considered unfriendly, because it shows very little excitement for a strange person or dog. It is easy to visualize each scenario. Each of them can paint a picture of some interesting things to us.
Let’s start with the over excited dogs that just have to see everyone. That is the equivalent of an unruly child running around grabbing people, making a scene just to be seen. Humans like to believe Rover is just showing himself friendly, but all the while he is showing himself less than polite, even to dog people. Sniffing all around, kissing, licking can be signs of a dog showing submission, and for new friends that might be considered a bit unstable. The other dog might find it offensive to have another dog in its bubble, and getting so up close and personal at first meeting.
Now, that dog that jumps all over people isn’t being polite at all. It is in the human’s bubble and is truly a nuisance. People sometimes excuse this behavior, but nobody really likes muddy paws on their clothes. Imagine having on a nice silk blouse and a dog’s nails ripping it to shreds because he is so friendly he just has to jump all over you. This is a behavior that should be replaced with a sit, in order to properly greet people.
Finally, we have that standoffish dog, showing restraint, even remaining aloof. This is a good dog for many reasons. If it is not interested in other dogs or people it can stay focused on the owner, and what the owner expects from him. I like to see dogs with this level of confidence in the face of other dogs and people. Think in terms of trust. A good relationship starts with good communication. That communication leads to trust. Out of trust is born an ability for you to have influence over your dog and its behavior.
A perfectly social dog does not have to ‘socialize’ with every person or dog it meets. Being social is about behaving with distractions. When we deal with very young children we ask them to, “Stand here quietly while I talk to Mr. Smith.” This is because jumping all over Mr. Smith would be inappropriate. The same applies to Mr. Smith’s children. Play time is not all the time. It is very difficult to keep Rover focused if he believes everyone must say hello to him. Socialize your dog with friends, when it is appropriate. Perhaps we should interact with our own dogs more, becoming their primary social network, not leaving it to strangers to influence our dogs.
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