By Pastor David Holland
I was burned out—deep fried burned out.
Pastoring a thriving church in Massachusetts brought me great joy and fulfillment. The church was growing, and we desperately needed a larger facility. The logical next step was to buy property and build. That decision nearly broke me.
We began with a $600,000 budget. Then we hit granite—thousands of tons of it—right where we needed to dig the foundation and basement. Overnight, the budget doubled to over a million dollars. With no other options, the project became largely volunteer-driven.
That meant I became the pastor, the contractor, and the chief bottle-washer—working eighty hours a week just to keep things moving.
Six months later, I found myself thirty feet up on a ladder, painting the new church. Exhausted beyond words, my mind drifted into a strange place. I caught myself fantasizing, Could I fake a heart attack? I imagined an ambulance pulling up, being strapped to a gurney, and taken away to a hospital where I could simply rest for a few days.
That’s how depleted I was.
Near the end of the project, we ran out of money. We had completed the building structure, but there was no landscaping. It looked like a church dropped into the middle of a dust bowl.
Then something unexpected happened.
A new family began attending our church. The husband was a cranberry farmer who had studied horticulture in college. One day he mentioned he had plants on his farm he’d like to donate.
A few days later, he pulled up in his truck and unloaded 150 shrubs in five-gallon buckets. “Oh, great,” I thought. “150 more living things to take care of.”
Over the next several months, I developed a new rhythm. I would leave my phone in the office, get down on my knees in the dirt, and plant those shrubs one by one—talking to God as I did so.
Somewhere in that soil, I got my soul back. God began to speak to me again—much like He did to Adam:
“Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed… The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” (Genesis 2:8–9, 15, NIV)
At my lowest point—when temptation and discouragement ran through my mind like Wile E. Coyote chasing the Road Runner—God brought me back to the ground. Literally.
With my hands in the dirt, my perspective began to change. My eyes saw beauty again. My ears picked up the sound of birds. My mind settled on the goodness of God.
I don’t fully understand why God sometimes brings us to the end of ourselves before revealing Himself more clearly. But I know this: Our lives are a garden God has given us to tend—something to cultivate that will be both beautiful and fruitful.
And He meets us there. In that place, He walks with us in the cool of the day. And if we’re listening, He speaks in ways we can understand.
God gave Adam a partner, Eve, and together they were fruitful. Their story spread across the earth. Even today, people plant crops for provision, vineyards for joy, and gardens for beauty.
Here in our Florida paradise, the invitation remains the same.
Will we walk with God?
Will we listen for His voice?
Will we cultivate the garden He has placed in our care?
Maybe your “garden” doesn’t look like much right now. It feels more like hard ground than fertile soil. But sometimes, the quiet work—the unnoticed, ordinary, hands-in-the-dirt moments—is where God does His deepest restoration.
I learned that on my knees, planting shrubs in a dust bowl. Because the garden of God isn’t just something we tend—it’s where He tends to us.
Dave Holland pastored churches for 38 years before retiring in Destin, Florida. His new book, Resurrection Jesus, is now available. You can get a copy of his books from his website, DaveHolland.org, or at Amazon.com. Pastor Dave is available to preach and teach at churches and conferences. Contact him at DavidvHolland54@gmail.com.
