By Todd Craig
Do you ever find yourself unhappy, sensing you need to make a change, but confused about whether that change is going to help you toward the life you really want?
Often, feeling stuck is about fear of the unknown and false stories you tell yourself about what you are and are not capable of. In most circumstances, you have choices and the potential for change. The challenge is often getting the clarity you need to engage your choices and motivation to see the change happen.
10 Questions to Help You Gain Clarity About Change:
Is this pain short term or long term?
Any decision to change comes with pain and grief. If you’re considering change, your current situation likely has pain points. Both the decision to stay and the decision to change may result in pain. Ask, “Would I rather endure short-term, acute pain for a different future or long-term chronic pain of my current reality?”
Am I living a life of courage or fear?
The decision to grind things out in your current situation may require courage, but so can the decision to change. Fear can warn you when you are about to make a dangerous decision, but it can also be the emotion that indicates it’s time for a change. Ask, “What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?” and “What’s the courageous thing to do?”
Am I fulfilled?
Being fulfilled is satisfaction with the ongoing development of your skills/character and using them to make a contribution in the world. Ask, “In what ways are my current circumstances contributing to or a barrier to my growth?” and, “In what ways are my current circumstances allowing me or preventing me from making my world a better place?”
Am I living in alignment with my values?
The answer to this question can provide blinding clarity about when it is time to make a change. Take time to clarify your values. Coaching can help with this. Ask, “Am I becoming, or have I become someone I don’t like?”
Am I living into my potential?
You have far more to contribute to the world than what you do in your job. How are your current circumstances contributing to you being the best spouse, parent, friend, employee, boss, and member of society you can be? How are you growing in these areas?
Am I healthy?
Ask these four questions about your emotional, relational, spiritual and vocational health: what’s right, what’s wrong, what’s confused and what’s missing. Not only is this tool helpful for determining health, but will nearly always reveal new insights about your current situation and your desires for your future.
Am I able to live in the present?
If you are spending significant time longing for the past or dreaming of a different future, it may be time to make a change. Longing for the past is an indication that you aren’t finding fulfillment in your present circumstance. Dreaming of a different future is a hopeful indication of restlessness nudging you to take action.
Am I settling?
When people ask you, “How are you doing?” is your answer always, “fine”? You have one life. Your life is too precious for fine. What would have to change so the next time someone asks, “How are you doing?” you can respond, “Life is great!”?
Do I have evidence my current circumstances will get better if I don’t make a change?
If you are restless and considering change, its likely because you are discontent in your current circumstances and have already made efforts to improve them. If you are hoping things will get better without making a change, what evidence do you have for that hope?
What are my next steps?
Remember, change doesn’t have to be monumental to make a significant difference. Change may come in the form of a new location, vocation, end of a relationship, starting and stopping behaviors, but it can also come in the form of a new attitude, perspective or mindset.
As you’re seeking clarity about change in your life, Journey Bravely currently has coaching sessions available to help you along your journey. Connect with us at Journeybravely.com.
Todd Craig is a Life and Leadership Coach whose passion is to see others discover and thrive in the life they were meant to live. With over 20 years of having clarifying conversations and guiding people through life change, Todd has coached others to identify places of feeling stuck and overwhelmed in work and life and provide effective, strategic tools and questions to help them move life forward both at home and work. Todd offers coaching in both professional and personal capacities toward identifying, developing and living your goals, desires and dreams.
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